When the robots attack you’re going to want to be ready, but regular old bullets and bombs aren’t going to be terribly effective against machines made of steel, platinum or various other alloys that will only be invented once they start killing us. So with that in mind we present some viable options with which to arm yourself when things take a turn for the worse.

A Logical Paradox

Robots are creations built on logic, and every question must have a clearly defined answer. Thus, if you can trap a robot in a logical paradox it should confuse the machine to such a degree that it self-destructs. Here, the Planet Express crew attempts just such a maneuver on Robot Santa. Unfortunately for them, it seems Santa has prepared himself for just such an attack. GlaDos attempts to drop a similar logic bomb on Wheatley in Portal 2, but it also fails to provide the intended results. Of course the likely reason for that is because Wheatley is an idiot and can’t even understand the concept of a paradox, let alone allow himself to be destroyed by one.

Waves Upon Waves of Human Meat Shields

In the event you find yourself fighting against a horde of rampaging killbots it turns out all you need to do is force them to reach their preset kill limit. Once they’ve shut down you’ll be hailed as a hero and given a medal, just like Zap Branigan.

Mirror Armor

They say the best offense is a good defense, so you’ll need some way to protect yourself in the heat of battle. While Kevlar may be the choice for modern wars, such material will be practically useless against futuristic robots. Why? Lasers. If the robots plan to utilizing laser-based weaponry then we’re all but screwed. That is, unless we fashion some sort of mirror armor which will reflect their very death beams right back at them. Since mirrors are highly effective at reflecting laser beams we could theoretically stand in one place and let the robots shoot at us all day without ever being harmed. That is, at least until the mirror got dirty, in which case we’re as good as dead. Oh, and there’s also the issue of lasers which actually can cut through mirrors, so if they’re using those (and they almost certainly will), then this whole thing is just an exercise in futility.

Handheld Plasma Cutters

Though Issac Clarke used the Plasma Cutter to take down hordes of necromorphs in Dead Space, we could probably re-purpose the tool to fight robots fairly effectively. The weapon is able to fire off a bolt of ionized plasma either horizontally or vertically, which would be ideal for slicing off a robot’s crushing/pinching arm or taking out its all-terrain legs while it’s chasing you. We just hope that the robots don’t figure out mirror armor for themselves, lest the Plasma Cutter be rendered useless.

A Pointy Stick

Sometimes the best solutions really are the simplest ones, and the ultimate robot-fighting tool may turn out to be a good old-fashioned pointy stick. You can use it to stab at sensors and other sensitive robotic areas, hurl it from far away in the hopes of hitting something critical or try and wedge it in amongst the gears and cogs to inhibit mobility. Yes, in spite of all our technological advances it seems the best way to do battle with robots is with the same tools our caveman ancestors used to fight off ancient proto-robots (aka dinosaurs).

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